Tag Archives: Becoming

Achieved By Doing Something Else

I got in best shape ever at the age of 32 by taking a break in life and becoming a waitress for 6 weeks. 10 hours daily walking with plates, back and forth, up and down, out and back in, got me lowest weight and greatest stamina ever.

Was at the seminar the other day about goals and wishes. Thought I knew the difference. Thought I know how to set goals and how to be successful in achieving them, but was in for a surprise. Turns out there are right goals and wrong goals. Fitness happens to be a wrong goal. Now, what happened at 32, is starting to make sense.

We live the life we earned, already.

We already have what we deserve. We live out the consequences of our choices and actions. Me, here and now, is the price I pay for the life I chose.

Turns out the results and achievements have nothing to do with setting goals, making plans, and doing step-by-step exercises to achieve them. If we deserve to be rich, we are rich. But not because we want it, not because we got better paying job, won a lottery, got inheritance, but because of the service we provide and who we are in the action.

Say you want to get married and start a family. Of course you want to get the best gal/guy there is. The sure way to fail in achieving that – start looking for that gal/guy or keep waiting for her/him to show up in your life.

See, the rule says – if you are worthy, you already have it. So there is something either missing or in excess. Gap to fill and area to rebalance is either: motive, intent, purpose, attitude, character, or focus.

Snap! It is not about making inventory and starting do more of this or less of that. It does not work. Not in a long run. You are who you are because of your personal history and there is no quick-fix by pretending. To develop something you don’t have – you need a new context. The right answer is in becoming and being.

Why do you want it in the first place? Honestly, what person in their right rational mind would want to have someone or something in their lives to take and take and take only to become happy themselves? The one who realizes we are not designed to be alone!

As with the scientists, whatever new breakthroughs they are coming up with – a new weaponry is all what the world gets at the end. Intents could be pure, to make lives better, but the results are but the same – better lives get ones with the intent.

Back to the rule and how to make it work?

Apparently all you need to do is to identify the area of activity and application with the highest relevance to the outcome. Complicated? Sure!

Here’s an easier one. If your goal is successful relationship: either get intentional to learn about relationships; provide services developing character traits required for successful relationships; or go out there and practice – engage, interact, listen, give, give and give without wanting or waiting anything in return.

Related stuff: Result As A Side-Effect


Result As A Side-Effect

There are just few goals worth aspiring to in this life:

  • Learning and Practicing [generates Power]
  • Being of Service [generates Joy]
  • Developing Relationships [generates Happiness]

and only three directions or levels these aspirations could be practiced in relation to:

  • God or IS
  • World and Nature
  • Living Things

Everything else is just a need, want, desire, or a whim. It will get fulfilled as a side-effect of being after a true goal.

Say you want something, need something or simply would like to have something?! It will invariably fall into either Knowledge, Service or Relationship area. Seek to develop in that area to the highest level you can imagine, your ideal state, and in time you will get what you want as a side-effect. Simple as that. Guaranteed!


  • way too many to list here

Disclaimer: this is still DRAFT… INSIGHT in PROGRESS